Of Power and Agony
by ShallowGlass
Summary: Light craves power and L has so much to suppress.


**Okay so this was a gift for my friend. First M/M fic. And I've never seen Death Note before, so I apologize for any errors in characters etc etc ;_;. Warnings. This story contains BDSM and rape/non-con. **_**You've been warned.**_

**(^0^)**

Light clenched his teeth together tight; he was close, but he wanted to draw this out longer. He stared down at the man below him. L. The yang to his yin. L's usually pale skin was now a softer shade of pink and it glistened with a fine layer of sweat. This wasn't expected really. But now here he is, fucking the man he considers to be the bane of his existence.

(^0^)

Light took another shot of whiskey. He wasn't drunk. But he was frustrated. Frustrated with the justice system he had placed all his naïve faith in. He had spent all his time believing he could make the world a better place. He believed in a better world. He was so naïve. So childish. He should've known the world wasn't all gumdrops and cherries. The system he believed in was corrupt beyond his imagination and he felt betrayed. Criminals were going free. He could still remember when he felt his mind actually crack. When he realized and accepted that what he believed in had been a lie. That was when he decided to take things into his own hands with the Death Note.

Light stared up at the ceiling. Goddamn L and his obsession with Kira. This entire fucking building was built with the sole purpose of catching one criminal. Then the asshole had to go and give it a name as gaudy as the "Kira Investigation Headquarters". The irony of it all was almost pathetic and Light found himself snickering despite it all. Light couldn't really decide if this was a game between them or just a game he was playing by himself. He knew L was anything but an idiot. He was intuitive and practically a genius and Light knew his days were numbered. That is, if he didn't make the first move.

Light fingered the papers on the table and ran his hand through his hair. This was boring beyond reason. The monitors were empty and the notes he was supposed to be looking over reported nothing he didn't already know. For obvious reasons.

Another shot. That makes four now and Light leaned back in the chair and sighed.

_Fuck L, where the hell did he go? _

Not that he really wanted or needed him back, but the raven-haired detective said he would be back within an hour. Light just didn't want to be left with all the work.

Light closed his eyes and not long before he crashed, he heard the latch in the door turn. He opened one eye and watched L walk in. His mouth twisted slightly in disdain. He was hunched over in the way he usually is and he had another goddamn lollipop in his mouth.

"L, where have you been?"

Both eyes were open and he stared as L walked towards the opposite end of the table. L pointed to the candy in his mouth. Figures. Not that he expected anything less. The man was obsessed with candy and an early morning candy run isn't that unusual for him. He grabbed half of the papers Light was supposed to be looking over and began to study them himself. They worked in silence, the only sound the buzzing of the monitors and the occasional clink of a glass as Light took another drink. Before an hour passed, L spoke up. He asked a very nonchalant question and Light responded with a very nonchalant answer. However, L asked another question. And Light gave another answer. Another question. Another answer. Then more silence.

Light didn't think too much about it. As strange as the other man was, he was presumably still human and humans did talk. His mind was a little foggy at this point. His thoughts were still coherent enough, but they were slower. Slower than he would've liked. He looked up from his notes at L. L in turn looked up. He stared at L and felt a sort of anger nestle in the pit of his stomach. L looked so…dead. Empty. The dark bags under his eyes did nothing to help his sorry state and Light wanted to wipe that look off his face. L's apparent indifference to the world around him irritated him in ways he couldn't explain. He decided to direct his eyes back to his work.

Not long after that, L asked another question. Light answered, but had it just been his imagination? That question sounded…pointed and perhaps hostile? Of course not. Just by looking at these notes, Light knew L hadn't made that much progress. But still. Light bristled a bit when L asked another simple question. It seemed so simple. But Light felt that there were accusations underlying L's question. He felt as if there was some sort of goal, as if L was trying to get him to say something incriminating. Why would L be doubting him?! He'd done everything he believed was correct, even staying in this building until ungodly hours looking over notes that meant absolutely nothing to him! Despite the paranoid thoughts running through his mind, he answered with as much indifference as he could. Not even 5 minutes passed before L asked another question and Light shook. He swore that there was even a sarcastic tone to L's voice. Light stood harshly, flinging the chair back. He threw his shot glass at the table and watched as it shattered. L looked up, calmly, as if he had been expecting this outburst.

Light couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand the look on L's face. Not smug. Not afraid. Not anything. That was exactly it. That look wasn't _anything._ He grabbed the genius detective by the collar of his t shirt and punched him in the face. Twice more. He let go of L's collar. His face would bruise soon and his nose was bleeding. Maybe it was broken. He really didn't care. All he knew was that L still looked empty. God he wanted nothing more than to see him care. To see him care about something. To see him in pain. Beating the hell out of him would accomplish nothing, but Light wasn't out of ideas. L didn't struggle as Light pulled him across the table and tore off his shirt. He adjusted him so that his hips were pressed hard against the table's edges and his chest and stomach were pressed against its top. He ripped a strip off the thin white shirt, twisted it, and tied it around L's mouth. A makeshift gag was better than no gag at all.

L's pants and briefs were down at his feet and his penis hung limply between his legs. Light wasn't surprised. He did however, find L's ass to be something quite tantalizing. He hadn't really thought much about sleeping with L, but he wondered now why he didn't do this sooner. His ass alone was worth his objectionable existence. White. Pristine white. And L was practically hairless. Nothing excess, just the hair on his head and his pubic hair. Light squeezed both cheeks. Soft. Malleable. Desirable. His cock responded and began to press against the inside of Light's pants. Light spread his cheeks and stared. He always assumed L was a virgin. He pressed his thumb to the hole and it contracted in response. Sensitive. This was always good. Light drew his hand back before bringing it harshly onto L's ass. The flesh jiggled and the noise echoed in the room. The white began to turn a harsh red. L still didn't make any move to resist nor did he complain. That said, his penis began to respond. Light laughed. It wasn't really a normal laugh. Light didn't laugh normally. It was sadistic and overpowering and it echoed incessantly throughout the room. Had L been anybody else, the laugh alone may have driven him mad.

Light pulled L's hips back and reached around. He found the half erect cock and gave it a squeeze. A hard squeeze. His fingers wrapped around and he squeezed with far more strength than would be comfortable. L instinctively drew his hips forward to escape the pain, pinning his penis between the edge of the table and his own body. Light found this advantageous. He pushed. No response from L. He pushed harder. L's penis was practically being crushed. L began pushing back. Resisting Light.

"What's wrong L? It hurt? I bet it does. Having your cock crushed and your mouth bound you pathetic piece of…"

Light stopped pushing. He wanted to have more fun with L. It wasn't over yet. At this point, his cock strained painfully against its cotton prison. He dropped his pants and boxers. His penis stood at attention, the tip facing the ceiling. He pressed it against L's cheeks and thrust his hips a couple times. That felt nice. He put it between the cheeks and thrust his hips faster. He groaned a bit. He smacked L's ass and closed his eyes as L's ass jiggled a bit around his cock.

Light reached down to the pocket of his pants and pulled out a condom. He slipped it over his penis and placed the head at L's entrance. L still said nothing, but he was fully erect and even Light could see he was breathing a little shallower. Not much, but still, it was something.

Light pushed. He pushed hard. It all went in and he groaned quite a bit more loudly this time. He didn't really want to take the time to prep L. All the way to the base and he relished the look on L's face. His eyes were closed tight, his face somewhat twisted.

"Uh-huh, I bet it hurts."

He pulled his hips out and pushed all the way back in. Tight. So tight. L was making no noise, but his eyes were still closed and his fists were squeezed tight. Pain. He was feeling pain. He was responding to this pain. Light felt triumphant. He was in control here. He was going to put some emotion on this man's face and it really didn't matter to him what kind. Light picked up a rhythm, moderately fast and comfortable. It wasn't all that exciting and he began to get rather bored when L didn't appear to be in too much pain.

Light wound his fist into L's hair and jerked his head back. L looked at him. Nothing. No defiance. No anger. Still nothing. The anger flashed red hot inside Light. He growled and raised his hand as if to hit L, but instead the hand rested at the small of L's back.

_Goddamn him goddamn him and his fucking lack of emotions! Goddammit!_

Light moved harder. More aggressively. He squeezed L's balls roughly and reveled as L's ass tightened around him. He needed more. He needed absolute and complete control.

He flipped L over and forced L to look at him. Look at his eyes. Harder. Faster. Light was moving without a rhythm now and he smirked when he felt L's hips respond subtly. Very subtly, but he was moving with Light. Still no noises, but Light felt he was winning. Winning whatever this was. L's skin was slick with sweat and was now a shade of pink.

Light closed his eyes and clenched his teeth together. He was close. So close. A couple more thrusts and he pulled out, ripping the condom off with a snap. His came all over L's chest and stomach. He marked him. His power, at least for now, was absolute. He looked at L's face. Pain? Emotion? L hadn't orgasmed yet, but he jerked himself furiously and Light saw an almost agony etched on his face.

(^0^)

L was regarded as a machine. Something not human. Something not capable of emotions. They just didn't understand. Even now, as Light pounded into him, he found he couldn't bring himself to care. Because if he did, everything else would surface as well. That couldn't happen. Those things he worked so hard to suppress couldn't come to the surface now.

But the closer he came to climaxing, the harder it became. Electric shocks rippled throughout his body and he found himself almost wanting this. He found that his hips wanted to meet Light's. It felt good. But it wasn't good. As he got perilously close to coming, faces flashes across his vision. No longer did he see Light above him, sweaty and focused, but he saw people. The victims whose cases he had studied. Their families. He saw crying faces. Distraught faces. He saw the faces of people who lost something irreplaceable. It was never that he didn't care. It was just that he couldn't go around with this agony all the time. He carried them around; they were his burden and he needed to suppress them so they didn't crush him. But now, now they flashed before his eyes rapidly.

No, no this wasn't good. The agony of it all began to crawl into his body. The closer he came to his orgasm, the more the agony threatened to consume him. Finally, Light was done. But, despite even his own wishes, he worked himself. Did he want to feel all the emotion? Would it all be washed away, released from his body with his semen? L didn't know.

He heard himself. Did he moan? Wail? Cry? He didn't know, but finally, he felt his release. The chaotic images flashing through his mind reached a pinnacle, and then ebbed. They faded with his orgasm, before both were completely gone. He saw Light again. Light was staring down at him. His expression was complex. On the surface, he appeared victorious, as if he had scaled the highest mountains and returned unscathed. L thought it was a mask though. He thought that beneath the mask, he saw confusion. Fear. His show of emotion may have scared Light. Maybe. They may have stunned him.

It didn't really matter. Light dressed and left the room, leaving L naked on the table. He untied his gag and just laid there for a second. Once he felt in control once more, he dressed, to the best of his abilities. His shirt was torn, but that was okay. He cleaned up the broken glass, which, thankfully, had landed mostly on the floor and not on the table when Light threw it. He doubt Light would've bothered to clear the glass when they started and that would've been a different sort of pain entirely. He picked up his notes and returned to looking over them. His questioning earlier irritated Light more than he planned. He just wanted to test a theory he considered far off and almost implausible. Perhaps Light was just too drunk to handle questions that normally wouldn't have bothered him. Perhaps he felt betrayed. L chalked it up to that. He decided to give Light the benefit of the doubt. Alcohol makes people do strange things.

L didn't discard his theory completely though. It lurked in the depths of his mind, nesting there until it would need to surface again.


End file.
